Wil Wheaton on Twitter:Exactly, yes. I would just add as an example, Oprah's much-hyped joining of Twitter. Her first post was predictably tone-deaf:Let's see. Calling people "Twitters" for some reason? Check. All caps? Of course. Confusing spaces before periods? You bet. There's even a self-conscious reference to Twitter as being "really 21st Century".

Now I'm not just picking out minor things for no reason - it shows exactly what he was talking about. She (or whomever was writing for her) showed no attempt to learn the rules or understand what she was using. It was popular and that was the end of it.

To which you may say, "invading our space? It's not some elite thing; can't Oprah use it if she wants?" Yes, of course. And since creating her account she has used it fully, sending a whopping 56 tweets to her almost 2 million followers. 56 in about three months and nothing since mid July. To contrast, Wil Wheaton has sent 56 in the last week, Felicia Day in 5 days, and Alyssa Milano in 3.

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Ok, so enough with the politics for tonight, just the same old crap there anyway.  I finally remembered to grab a USB cable before sitting down to dump the pictures that I've been meaning to share off of my phone.  So, with no further ado...

I forget where we were driving when we saw this truck but I had to ask Leesa to grab a picture of it.  It's kind of hard to tell but the back of the truck says, inexplicably, "WE BUY YONK CARS".  I figured it was supposed to be junk, and I guess I could see misspelling it as "YUNK" or "JONK", but "YONK"? Yeah, it's on the side too - same spelling. This is Kate chilling in the Target cart as we did some Christmas shopping.  If memory serves it was one of the first times (if not the first) that they got to ride in the cart without being in a carseat. Natalie desperately trying to get to a bag of Krystal's burgers.  This is from November, long before she got any teeth. Now we enter the time when I was at the mall, unattended, and decided to just take pictures of whatever absurd thing I happened to come across.  The above I have little to add to.  It basically speaks for itself.  It was just in the window of an "As Seen on TV" store.  More from that store shortly. This is from a kiosk in the mall that sells "electric cigarettes".  I think the idea is that you can look just as cool as if you had a regular cigarette but it's a lot healthier.  I don't know, somehow it just looks really stupid to me.  It looks like she's falling while holding a cheap pen in her mouth. Wow, it's clearly a Wii!  And for only $25.  See?  It has the Wiimotes and nunchucks and such!  It has bowling, tennis, baseball, boxing, and golf!  The kids are going to be thrilled come Christmas morning! Back to the "As Seen on TV" store.  Never seen this on TV, but as you'll soon see, it's just possible that this Notebook Holder comes to us from another country.  Maybe. "Can be convoluted"! "Be easy to catch the screen.  Be hard to tired for the hands.  Good posture." "7 angle points can be adjusted among 10' and 16'" Here's the back of the box with all of the technical information. "The loss and damage of the data saved in the computer exceeds our guaranty." "No using beyond the purpose." "Please set on the balanced table to use." "Adjusting to the stable and fixed angle, placing the notebook after assurance." "Don't jam the finger if the angle is altered and adjusted." "Don't adjust the angle when placing the notebook." "Please shopping using when the notebook isn't fixed stably." "Please pay attention to the unassured situations because of the underside shape of the notebook." "Don'open the screen excessively to avoid possible falling." "Please rotate the holder slowly to avoid dropping the notebook." "Don't drop and strike intensively, for it is possible to cause damage." "Don't set beside the fire." "Long-time placing is prohibited." "Don't use in the airflow and dusty circumstance." "Please wipe gently with dry or soft cloth.  Don't use the gasoline, thinner or alcohol." "Heat dispersion effect: Make sure the air isflowing to create the comfortable life rhythm of the notebook!  Perfec heat dispersion when enjoying DVD" "Skidding prevemted: Be unaware of cutting of the electricity at any time for good heat dispersion."  [What?] Here's a "Figure Trimmer" that's a triple-threat of nonsense.  It promises to help you lose weight by pivoting (so you can exercise with it, I guess) plus it has magnets that are all positioned to provide benefits via the magic of reflexology. Here's a closeup of the foot diagram that shows which points on the foot correspond to which internal organs.  I like how they are all roughly similar to the shape of the organs themselves.  Must be a real bitch to try to stab the small intestine spots what with them weaving all around like that. The back had more information on the benefits of the "Magnetic Wave Disc".  If you can't make it out, here's what it says: MAGNETIC WAVE According to a Japanese medical doctor, there exists a magnetic field inside the human body.  The electromagnetic force in the human body reduces accelerated activity of "sodium, postassium and phosphor", which in turn stimulates the activeness of the sympathetic nerve. BARE FEET AND HEALTH Since modern people are not used to walking bare feet, there are various diseases that affect the internal organs.  In view of this fact, the Magnetic Wave Disc was designed and produced.  The Magnetic Wave Disc will massage and stimulate the meridian points on the bottom of the feet and help promote good health. MAGNETIC WAVE DISC Stimulates more than 200 meridian points Alleviate pain Massages and relaxes Stimulates blood circulation The Magnetic Wave Disc will not cause any side effects with prolonged use. First I'd just like to point out how great it is that the claim is attributed to "a Japanese medical doctor."  Not even "Eastern medicine teaches us that...".  No.  "Some Japanese doctor once told us this." The merits of reflexology and magnets I'll leave to the reader to investigate; it's too late in the day for me to start a pseudoscience rant.  I would like to point out, though, that not walking around in bare feet all the time has probably done wonders for lowering tetanus infections at the very least. My nephew from our recent trip to Savannah.  He tried to wear ever piece of pirate regalia offered to kids at The Pirates' House.  He succeeded, briefly. Kate, looking very pitiful while wearing her nebulizer mask during her recent breathing troubles. Ingles has started carrying some really weird flavors of potato chips.  Target had some interesting ones under its generic brand a while back like "buffalo wings and blue cheese" that were pretty innovative for their time.  These are kind of gross, though. Thought this said "Ragin' Rash" at first. "Ranch" is better. And lastly, minced fish, deep fried with a layer of cheese. Mmmmm!

Const CONTRACTION_DATA = "are not=aren't,cannot=can't,could have=could've,could not=couldn't,did not=didn't,do not=don't,does not=doesn't,has not=hasn't,he had=he'd,he is=he's,he was=he's,he will=he'll,he would=he'd,how did=how'd,how is=how's,how was=how's,how will=how'll,I am=i'm,I had=I'd,I have=i've,I will=i'll,I would=i'd,is not=isn't,it is=it's,it was=it's,might have=might've,might not=mightn't,must have=must've,must not=mustn't,shall not=shan't,she had=she'd,she is=she's,she was=she's,she will=she'll,she would=she'd,should have=should've,should not=shouldn't,that is=that's,that is=there's,that was=that's,that was=there's,that will=that'll," & _
"that would=they'd,they are=they're,they have=they've,they will=they'll,was not=wasn't,we had=we'd,we were=we're,we will=we'll,we would=we'd,were not=weren't,what had=what'd,what is=what's,what was=what's,what would=what'd,when did=when'd,when is=when's,when was=when's,when will=when'll,where did=where'd,where is=where's,where was=where's,where will=where'll,where would=where'd,who did=who'd,who is=who's,who was=who 's,who will=who'll,who would=who'd,why did=why'd,why is=why's,why was=why's,why will=why'll,why would=why'd,will not=won't,would have=would've,would not=wouldn't,you are=you're,you had=you'd,you have=you've,you will=you'll,you would=you'd"

Dim aryContractions() As String

Private Sub PopulateContractions()
     Dim aryTemp() As String
     Dim aryTemp2() As String
     Dim i As Integer

     aryTemp = Split(CONTRACTION_DATA, ",")
     ReDim aryContractions(UBound(aryTemp), 2)

     For i = 0 To UBound(aryContractions)
        aryTemp2 = Split(aryTemp(i), "=")
        aryContractions(i, 0) = aryTemp2(0)
        aryContractions(i, 1) = aryTemp2(1)
     Next
End Sub

Public Function ConvertSpeech(strInput As String, intFormalityFactor As Integer)
    Dim intRandom As Integer
    Dim i As Integer

    For i = 0 To UBound(aryContractions)
        intRandom = Int(Rnd() * 100)
        If (intFormalityFactor > intRandom) Then
            strInput = Replace(strInput, aryContractions(i, 0), aryContractions(i, 1))
        End If
    Next

    ConvertSpeech = strInput
End Function

There.  Problem solved.

I can hass avocadoes?

... I'm very sorry.

Found on Photobucket:

You might think that the Writer's Strike is all Rush Limbaugh's fault.  But here are a couple writers from the Daily Show making a very compelling case as to why they deserve compensation when their content is used online.  And I have to say, I think they're right.  It's clearly a double standard.

From Amazon's Al Dente blog:

Serendipity 3 (menu) in, of course, Manhattan, has set the Guinness World Record for most expensive dessert at $25,000.  Most of the cost is in the dish, though.  The dessert is called the "Frrrozen Haute Chocolate" and includes "a slushy mix of cocoas from 14 countries, 5 grams of 24-carat gold, whipped cream, and shavings from a luxury truffle" and is served in a dish with 1 carat of diamonds and a golden spoon.

Trouble is they were shut down earlier this month for health code violations after finding "a live mouse, mouse droppings, flies, and dozens of live cockroaches".

Whooooooooooooo!  That is all.

Don't feel like getting up at 4 AM and standing in line for a $5 toaster?  Amazon is having a Black Friday sale that you don't even have to leave the house to take advantage of.

And I'm totally vindicated!  Thank you, thank you.  All who mocked my Zombie Harry Potter theory may apologize whenever they're ready.

With the final Harry Potter book due out in around 15 hours, I thought I should take a moment and get a few pet theories on the record before everyone knows what happens.  I have not read any spoilers nor any electronic copies of the book.  So if any of these happen to be true (which, deep down, I kind of doubt) then I'm sorry if this ruins it for you.  Maybe best you just stop reading now if speculations upset you.

My first one just struck me this morning.  I've always had a problem with the prophecy.  J. K. Rowling (JKR from here on to save from retyping a complexly punctuated name) has said that she worded that very carefully.  And yet to take it on its face value, it's a very stupid prophecy.  And, worse yet, absurdly false.  To recap:

Neither can live while the other survives.

Which Dumbledore claims to mean that, in the end, one of them must kill the other.  And this is the accepted explanation.

But, um, if I may meekly raise my hand on that.  They're both already alive and surviving.  So how can that be true?

So, logically this must mean one of two things: either it's a poorly-crafted prophecy (which seems unlike JKR) or... wait for it... Harry's a zombie.

Yes, I think Harry Potter might be a zombie.  Or an Inferi, anyway (or whatever the singular of Inferi is - I'm reluctant to go look it up right now with spoilers flying about.  Inferus?  Something?)

Another clue that she's given is that it's very important to know how Dumbledore got the invisibility cloak from Harry's father.  An obvious answer would be that he went and got it from their house.  And it's likely that, after the attack, he and the rest of the Order went to their house.  If nothing else they would have wanted to take care of Harry.  The books say that Hagrid went to get him but I can't imagine no one else would have gone.

Anyway, so we know that Dumbledore knew the prophecy.  Voldemort knew it to and so he tried to kill Harry, etc.  Well what if he succeeded?  What if his attack killed them both?  Dumbledore would have known that Voldemort could come back to life so in order to prevent that, he turned Harry into a zombie.

It's interesting that she used "lives" and "survives".  They are not entirely the same meaning, after all.  Perhaps by becoming a zombie he "survived" enough to prevent Voldemort from leaving his undead state and fully "living" again.  That could be the source of all of Dumbledore's guilt that we see at the end of books 5 and 6 (when drinking the cup). 

So now they're both undead wizards - liches would be more accurate than zombies, I suppose - both being animated by dark magic.  Only once one of them is "dispelled" (Voldemort's process being much more complicated with Horcruxes and such) can the other one live.  Though it might end up with Harry dying rather than being a lich.

Of course this begs the question: why would Dumbledore use dark magic?  Maybe because...

Dumbledore is evil.

Voldemort talked often about having an infiltrator in Hogwarts.  What if it wasn't Snape after all but Dumbledore?  What if that is why Snape, acting in good conscience, killed him?  I suppose it could be more complicated like Dumbledore was possessed or something.  But it would explain a number of things if that turned out to be true.


No, I don't really believe either of these.  Unless they turn out to be true.  In which case it was I, yes I alone that had the courage to put forth these theories despite great mockery.

Assignment: Compare and contrast with "White and Nerdy".

• I prefer to think of it more as "White and Geeky", actually.
• I don't mow the front lawn; we have a service for that. Guess that's even nerdier.
• Don't have any particular desire to roll with gangsters.
• Went to Georgia Tech, no MIT here.
• I have some skills at Dungeons & Dragons, no doubt there.
• M.C. Escher is also my favorite M.C.
• I would much prefer an Earl Grey tea to malt liquor, for sure.
• I've never purchased custom rims, so they are quite stationary.
• I have like two action figures, neither of which are cherry. Though they are of video game characters.
• I do have books by Stephen Hawking in my library. Great reads.
• My MySpace page is very not pimped out, nor is there much outcry for my top eight spaces (I have more than 8 top spaces, for one).
• I could calculate pi to 1000 places but only have about 10 or so memorized.
• No grills or braces here.
• I do enjoy some mayonnaise from time to time, but not on everything.
• Can't stand Minesweeper.
• I have used many killer apps, but by no means all of them.
• I can program in Pascal but it's been a long time and being "number one" at Pascal is like being "number one" at using a rotary phone.
• I do actually have a soldering iron (not a soldering gun). Somewhere. Don't have much call for soldering.
• Favorite theme song would probably be Firefly, not Happy Days.
• Don't play ping pong much; I doubt I'd be very good at it.
• I do usually win any trivia game played. So long as it's not sports.
• I am very fluent in JavaScript (unfortunately) but only know like 3 words in Klingon.
• No Segway, though I would love to have one.
• Can't stand comic books, not even X-Men.
• Usually carry pens in a notebook or a pants pocket, and they don't require much protection.
• I do have an ergonomic keyboard but I don't NEED it. I could be metal and use a non-ergonomic keyboard. I just don't want to.
• I do purchase writable media online. Usually the cheapest that's not Sony.
• I do have an account with Wikipedia and do edit from time to time.
• I have not memorized Holy Grail; don't get into Monty Python much. I could recite some lines but I doubt it would result in any ROTFLOLage.
• My business does primarily focus on working with websites and do provide assistance in HTML code to friends from time to time.
• I have not made a homepage for a dog, though I have made individual pages and uploaded pictures of dogs in the past.
• No fanny packs. And I couldn't care less about The Gap.
• Uninterested in bubble wrap. I don't get the fascination. Plus I have a wife for that sort of thing.
• Definitely whiter than sour cream; no argument there.
• Not in A/V club or glee club, or chess team. Though if our school had had those I probably would have been in A/V and chess.
• Picard is better. Problem solved.
• Only been to the Renaissance Fair three times. And YES I did dress up once, but it's not like EVERY weekend. Shut up! The turkey legs are good.
• My underwear is very easily distinguished from my wife's and does not require labeling.
• I do enjoy bowling in limited amounts, though I am very bad at it, but not with gangsters, particularly.
• And YES I did notice that the equation behind him in the video (Schrödinger's hydrogen wave function equation) was wrong since it had Planck's constant in it instead of Dirac's constant. WHAT OF IT?

Tom Wilson ( ), probably best known for his role as Biff (and associated family) in the Back to the Future trilogy - though I still usually think of him as Maniac.  Today he's doing some really good stand up (especially considering he manages to keep it family-friendly).  He's also a man of great faith.  Anyway, among his other work he has a great piece called Biff's Question Song:

Same routine.  Out walking the dogs and what do I see?





See him?  This is usually where I find him in the evening - in a niche between the front patio and the foundation.








Hey there!

Good for a laugh for all the cat-loving readers...

James Lileks's writing is more ebullient today than it has been in weeks after finding out yesterday that he's getting the job he's been wanting ever since he found out his old column had been cancelled.  His paper, the Star Tribune in Minneapolis, recently announced huge swaths of buyouts due to their new management.  His job had been one of those - he was offered the choice of a buyout or of being a standard beat reporter - covering city council meetings and other such trilling endeavors.

But then, no doubt bowing to the pressure of it no longer being 1925, they announced an opening for a blogging position.  It's hard to imagine that they would consider anyone else for the position given his many years at the paper, approachable writing style, and ability to keep up a daily personal blog for 10 years without pay.  But he's been agonizing over it for some time now.  He hasn't released many details (and they may in fact not even have them finalized yet) but from what he's said it seems to be just what he wanted to do.  Says he:

I’m still not sure if I can announce the particulars, even if other media sites have made speculations – and how do they know these things? I said not a word to anyway, but I suppose clever reporters note who you’re talking to, who you’re walking around with, who you’ve struck with a paving stone and stuffed in the trunk of car in the parking lot. Which is visible from the windows of two metro columnists. So I was asking for it, I guess.

Anyway, it’ll be fun. It has to be fun, or it’s not worth the candle. I’ll just say that it involves blogging, and I’ve been handed a gigantic sandbox. Just in time, too.

So congratulations on that; we were all pulling for you.  I'm glad to see his paper had the sense to see the chance for a much larger audience for him than just Minneapolis.  And I'm sure Gnat's glad that she won't have to start sharing her father with an office any time soon.


Edit: Turns out he's been made Editor of the paper's community site: buzz.mn

In lieu of a story today I'd like to tell you about an undead oak toad.

For the past few days when we go out to walk the dogs for the last time that day there will be a very small toad on the front porch.  Every time we approach it all it does is just sits there.  If you poke at it then it will roll over on its back like it's dead.  I'll then kick it into the pine straw under a bush and all the time it never moves.

But when I go back to the bush to try to find it later, it's gone.

Then the next night there it is again on the porch!

And no, it's not the dogs doing it; I'm watching them.  And I don't think it's more than one toad.  It must be that it's playing dead or something because every night it's the same routine.

Until tonight.

Tonight I nudged it with a stick and it jumped!  So I assume it's back from the dead now because it's very lively.

Here's a picture I took tonight.  Sorry about the focus and scale.  I'll take a better one tomorrow - I'm sure it'll be there.  Also not sure it's an Oak Toad, but based on the description I found, that's the closest I've seen.  It's very small in any event, so I don't think it's a regular common frog.